Good freakin' grief. You'd think I'd had it with Chase. I FINALLY paid off Capital One or THOUGHT I had. And the rep over the phone when I made the final payment assured me I had paid everything and within thirty days I would get my settlement papers in the mail and guess what I got in thirty days? A STATEMENT saying I STILL OWED $380!!! WHAT THE FUCK!? I Do NOT OWE them anyMORE money. I paid the settlement, I did what they wanted. How the hell do they get off saying I still owe over three hundred bucks?! I mean, SERIOUSLY!?!?!? SERIOUSLY!?!? And to boot I can't get in touch with anyone, I'm assuming, because it's right around the holidays. I HOPE, anyway.
On that note, I've also managed to get my phone ran over as well. Oh joy. But on the bright side, it looks like I might get a better paying job, something I'm really hoping will work out. But, like, I really need to work on being more extroverted. I'm just too damn quiet all the time and I always feel like I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack of some sort at work.
I also feel absolutely horrible because the other week was a co-worker's birthday and I couldn't work up the nerve to wish him happy birthday-- I mean, how mean is that? I just freaked out, thinking he'd think it was weird that I remembered or then maybe I had the day wrong, I don't even know, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it and then I felt like a total retard. I always feel totally.... I don't know... retarded?
Ugh, but if I get this new job, I should be able to get out of debt SOOO much faster and maybe even be able to save up for a car which would be nice. Or a nearby apartment to work/or on the busline, you know? I just want to get it together. I feel like I've just been aimlessly wandering around in the dark for the last five years, although it hasn't been for lack of trying to set goals. It just seems like every goal I set, it becomes literally impossible to achieve, whether for financial or medical reasons. It's just gotten to the point of utter ridiculousness. I think about myself too much. I'm selfish.
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